China

China will be the next global superpower. They will lead the world in military might, economic power and science & technology.

This is not a good thing.

China has repeatedly shown contempt for democracy. They are brutally oppressive against Tibet. They have clearly indicated a willingness to use military might to assume dominance of Taiwan. They are aggressive and convinced of their own superiority.

And the world is lining up to give them international legitimacy at an Olympics that promises to be best show since ‘32 when Hitler got to show off his best goosestepping and pretty banners.

I, the Philoso4King, fear that there are only two likely means to curb Chinese expansion.

First is that a rival superpower emerges, possibly Russia or the EU, and we get a cold war-like division of power.

Second is that the US, before it becomes completely insignificant, clashes into open warfare with China - likely triggering a world war. This is unfortunately the more likely, as historically the transfer of super power status usually involves a war.

I hope and pray that I am misreading the situation.

The United States of America

Status:

The USA has peeked as a global power.

On September 11, 2001 the US was victim to a monumentally tragic crime that cost the lives of 3000 people. The entire world has shocked and mourned with them. The entire world lined up behind the US. We would have followed them anywhere to bring justice to those responsible.

At that moment, more than any other time in history, they were the leader of the free world.

And they squandered it.

Instead of calling it a crime, they called it an act of war. Yet wars are either between nations or between groups vying for control of a nation. 9/11 was clearly neither. By calling it a war, the criminals responsible were elevated to nationhood. They became one side of a conflict rather than the murderers they are.

A bogeyman villain was selected as the evil mastermind of the attack before the actual investigation into what actually happened even began. The eventual investigation, severely limited in duration and budget, stuck to the bogeyman scenario and failed to answer many key questions. Even when it was shown that at least a third of the so called hijackers are still alive, no effort was made to amend the list of suspects. And while Bin Laden remains on the FBI’s list of most wanted, the crimes he is wanted for have nothing to do with 9/11 because there is little evidence that he was involved.

Despite the fact that Bin Laden and most of the suspected hijackers were from Saudi Arabia, the US set its sights on Afghanistan. And what was Afghanistan’s crime? They didn’t believe Bin Laden had the means to pull off something as big as the 9/11 attack. Furthermore, they refused to turn him over unless the US promised to give him a fair trial and not just immediately execute him. Considering how heavily armed Bin Laden and his men are, it is highly unlikely that Afghanistan would have been able to capture him if they wanted to.

So the US and their long list of allies toppled the Taliban and put the Northern Alliance in power. This was presented as a good thing for Afghanistan, the Taliban were conservative Moslems and they made their women dress funny. Nobody mentions that the Northern Alliance has a terrible track record of human right abuses. The alliance is made up of warlords that lay claim to territories and make their own, often draconian, laws. Human Rights Watch has accused them of internal displacement and executions, widespread rape, arbitrary arrests and “disappearances” targeted against the civilian population. Opium production has skyrocketed. Corruption is rampant, driving many to join the Taliban side of the insurgency that has raged non-stop since the invasion.

Then the US set its sights on Iraq We’re still all trying to figure that one out.

When France opposed this invasion of Iraq, the US changed the name of French Fries, showing the entire world that they had the diplomatic maturity of a ten year old.

Then the reports started coming of secret concentration camps (sorry prisons) where they held prisoners whom were denied Geneva Conventions rights and in which torture was commonly used.

And they seem to have grown tired of looking for Bin Laden. But apparently that’s okay. While Bin Laden is still the guy personally responsible for 9/11 attacks, they have another guy that was also the guy personally responsible for 9/11. He even admitted it. Under torture.

So where does that leave the world?

Al-Qaeda, despite all their losses in men, weapons, money and land, can claim that they are fighting the good fight against the infidel US and frankly, they’re winning. Despite years of trying, the US has still failed to take out their leader. And people are lining up to join them.

Al-Qaeda and radical Muslims have labeled the “War on Terror” as a “War on Islam.” This opinion is spreading to more and more Muslims, largely due to the fact that the US has been treating their war on terror as a war on Islam.

The US still tries to present themselves as the white hat leader of the free world. Yet their track record of invasion of sovereign states, violation of international law and treaty, and torture coupled with their dismal diplomacy and general paranoia, they have lost all morale authority to lead.

As an economic powerhouse, the cracks are already evident. The only factor preventing full collapse of the US economy is that the rest of the world has invested significantly into reserves of US greenbacks. It is in the best interests of the rest of the world to not let the US fall too far. However, if the US economy continues to crumble, it is only a matter of time until some nation dumps their greenbacks for a more stable currency, such as the Euro. This could trigger a sell off that would shatter the entire US economy. The days of the US driving the world economy are over.

It should be clear that these problems are not due to one man or one party. It is highly unlikely that a change in leadership could do more than slow the US decline.

And since there were serious irregularities in the last two presidential elections, we the people of Neo Freedonia are unconvinced that man acting as president of the US is the man the people elected. Even if he was fairly elected, the appearance of election fraud, intentional or otherwise, throws doubt into his legitimacy. We await for the US to correct their electoral processes so they can be a democracy in more than name.

Conclusion:

We the people of Neo Freedonia have great fondness of the people of the United States of America and look to them in friendship.

However, we cannot turn a blind eye on blatant violations of international law as well as blatant military aggression. As such, if George W Bush or key members of his cabinet and military enter Neo Freedonia territory (which is granted rather difficult to do), they will be seized and turned over to the Hague to stand trial for war crimes.

Democratic Socialism

In the US, most Utopian visions seem to lean towards Libertarianism. Minimal government, low taxes, where a man is free to live his life as he pleases. I, the Philoso4King, was born and bred in Canada, and as such have a different, more socialist vision. I believe this cultural difference is due to feudalism.

Yes, feudalism.

After the collapse of the Roman Empire, feudalism developed as a means to provide a safe and secure society without the need of the empire’s resources. A select group would be relieved of the burden of needing to provide for their daily bread and would instead train to be prepared for the common defense. They were also responsible for enforcement of laws. Taxes would be raised from the rest of the populace to cover their living expenses and equipment.

Feudalism was a practical and effective social structure that addressed specific problems in society. However, it became prone to corruption and out lived its usefulness.

The martial or noble class saw themselves as better than the “common” man, who they saw as little more than livestock. Large portions of the population where indentured to the land they farmed, virtually slaves. Nobles owned the land and held the wealth and power.

By the time of the colonization of the Americas, feudalism was but a memory for city dwellers, but for the rural population, they were still living under what was effectively feudalism.

Yet by immigrating to the Americas they could own land. And not just any land, large tracks of highly fertile land with good weather. Sure there were natives to drive off and forests to clear, but a man could, with a lot of sweat and a bit of luck, build himself a successful farm. He could be like the nobles in his homeland. He could be a self-made man. Deeply rooted in the American experience is a desire to return to this period, to have the freedom to build your own fortune, to be a self-made man.

In what became Canada, things were different.

For starters, its a lot colder than most of the US. As a result, we didn’t have as good farmland, the growing season was significantly shorter. When Europeans first came to Canada, it was for fish and pelts. It was easier to trade with the natives than to drive them off, so relations with the native population were significantly better than in the US.

And we had winters that would kill you. Many early immigrants to Canada didn’t survive their first winter. Survival here necessitated working together, learning from one another, supporting one another.

It is the same reason why desert lands develop customs to never refuse someone water — at some point, it is likely you will be the one in need of a drink.

Not that I’m saying Canadian history is all “kinder and gentler.” We fell into most of the practices of those south of the boarder. But throughout it all, at our core was this “one for all” ideal rather than rampant individualism.

I think that is one of the reasons why, when the American took up arms for “Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness,” we declined to join them. Opting instead for “Peace, Order and good Government.”

This is why many Americans are proud that they don’t have a “socialist” medical system and why most Canadians are fiercely loyal to a medical system where everyone is treated identically, regardless of wealth. This is true even if it means that they get medical treatments slower than they would otherwise receive.

The whole issue was further complicated during the cold war, when the rhetoric combined the concepts of democracy and capitalism and well as the concepts of totalitarianism and socialism. In both cases, one is a system of government and the other a system of economics.

Socialism values the needs of the community over that of the individual. While it can be argued that totalitarian socialism has various ethical and practical problems, these problems aren’t applicable if combined with participatory democracy.

Surely there can be no ethical concerns if a population collectively chooses to look after their less fortunate. And direct involvement of the population in government decisions avoids the inefficiency and other practical problems inherent in totalitarian socialism.

That is not to say there are not a wide collection of new problems that need to be addressed. I, the Philoso4King, do not claim that I have all the answers. It is my hope that given sufficient time and sufficient discussion, these problems could be resolved.

Or failing that, that a better approach could be discovered.

As I see it, governments have three roles.

First, the government is there to look after those issues that the population is unable or unwilling to manage personally. For example, drinking water quality standards should be set by experts in water quality. The general population shouldn’t be expected to learn sufficient relevant information to make a reasonable conclusion on what should be a safe standard. Modern life has a multitude of similar choices and no one person has the time to become fluent in all of them.

Second, the government is there to facilitate the collective care of the population. This includes the creation of a “social safety net”, emergency services, aid to the disadvantaged, protection of minorities, etc.

Third, the government acts as the common face for international contact. This includes matters of diplomacy, treaties and international law.

All government actions should relate to one or more of the above purposes.

Proposed Law: Strategy to Address Problems of Narcotic Abuse and Gang Violence.

I, the Philosos4King, propose the following to combat the rampant abuse of illicit drugs and the rise of gang violence.

Background:

From 1920 to 1933 the United States banned the legal sale of alcohol. However, by all accounts, this did little to stem the flow of alcohol sales. By some estimates, alcohol consumption actually rose during this period. What it did accomplish was shifting the sale of alcohol to organized crime, who experienced a golden era.

Fast forward to the present: booze is now freely sold (well, relatively freely to adults), and prohibition has shifted to drugs. The “War on Drugs” has been going on for decades and what is the result? Billions have been spent, gangs and gang violence are on the rise, and still the flow of drugs is unaffected. There is so much spent on law enforcement, trials and incarceration that there is little left for drug treatment programs.

Clearly a different approach is needed.

Proposal:

Decriminalization of Simple Possession of Narcotics.
Licensing of Drug Production.
Sale of Drugs legal at Government Outlets.

This is a multiple faceted plan, that requires all components to be effective.

First, we stop treating drug addicts as criminals. Addicts need treatment not incarceration.

Second, we offer full pardons to anyone convicted of simple possession, and only a simple possession conviction. No pardons will be offered for trafficking or other drug charges or, of course, any weapon or violence convictions. This would free up money that would be spent on incarceration.

Third, licenses would be issued for the legal production of drugs. These producers would be monitored to ensure 100% of their production is funneled into legal channels and that the product is of consistent quality and not cut with some of the colourful substances that street drugs sometime contain.

Fourth, drugs will be packaged with simple designs and not the attractive packaging of commercial products.

Fifth, drugs will be available in full strength as well as series of reduced potencies to facilitate users weaning themselves off drugs.

Sixth, drugs will be available at government owned and controlled outlets. These outlets will be never be allowed to be sold or outsourced. The last thing we need is a company trying to increase profits by increasing sales. These outlets will be tasked to provide safe and efficient operation, but not to make a profit.

Seventh, drugs will be sold at cost. This will seriously undercut the street market. Users can buy legal, cheap, consistent drugs free of dangerous additives or illegal, expensive drugs with possible additives. It is a goal of this legislation to put the illegal market out of business.

Eighth, the only real restriction on sales of drugs is quantity. Users will be permitted to purchase only enough for personal use - not large quantities for resale.

Ninth, each sale will contain instructions for safest use, warning signs of overdose and contact info for drug programs. For injectable drugs, each will come with syringes to prevent the need of sharing needles.

Tenth, extra short term funding will be provided to law enforcement to move quickly to head off gangs and organized crime moving into new areas of “business” to replace their drug business.

Expected results:

It is expected that there will be a short term spike in drug use when this legislation comes into effect and legal and cheap drugs become available. However, it is believed that this is a temporary situation. Removal of the criminal pusher should cause a significant decrease in demand that will quickly overtake the initial usage spike.

Furthermore, removing gangs and organized crime from the market should greatly reduce violence in the streets. Reducing the prices for addicts will also reduce property theft, as users won’t need to steal to fund their expensive habits.

Finally, gangs and organized crime are expected to try to move into different areas to offset the loss of their drug business. Efforts need to be made to combat this before they establish a firm foothold.

Citizenship Continued

Is citizenship open to everyone?

Well, almost.

Loudmouthed idiots, spammers and enemy agents need not apply.

Perhaps I should clarify that.

Loudmouths like Michael Moore, Harlan Ellison and Dave Sim are highly welcome. We need loudmouths.

Idiots who can’t be bothered to vote, who can name their entire sports team but can’t name their own politicians, or people who watch Fox news for anything other than humour, are highly welcome. Perhaps citizenship will open your minds to greater possibilities.

It is only when both traits are combined that problems arise.

Spammers, you know who you are, are hereby forbidden to use Neo Freedonia or any of its possessions to further their antisocial behaviour.

Finally, enemy agents (boy, that sounds sinister) include anyone working alone or for someone else who seeks to join Neo Freedonia for any purpose that is contrary to Neo Freedonia or any of its citizens are not welcome. One example would be joining in order to access a citizen’s writings and then use these writings against him.

Citizenship is open to virtually all. Citizenship in Neo Freedonia in no way indicates lack of loyalty to one’s nation of birth. Neo Freedonia is a place where ideas can be freely explored.

It is my belief that no government on the face of the Earth, or any in history for that matter, are so perfect that they shouldn’t be open to new ideas. Furthermore, it is my opinion that a good idea is a good idea, regardless of where it comes from, even from something as mad as a imaginary kingdom.

Citizenship

So how does on become a citizen of Neo Freedonia?

After careful consideration, giving the matter all the serious thought it deserves, or at least feeling it’s a good idea at the time, you too can become a citizen of Neo Freedonia.

Neo Freedonia is a fully participatory democracy. As a citizen, you have the full right, nay responsibility, to see that our nation’s laws and customs are shaped for the public good.

Once you have accepted citizenship, let us know. Comment on what is written here or email me at philoso4king@gmail.com

And spread the word. One simple way is to add a line to your email sig, stating “Citizen of Neo Freedonia” with a link to neofreedonia.wordpress.com

Freedonia

Freedonia was the nation from the Marx Brothers film Duck Soup. It seemed somehow an appropriate name for this mad enterprise. “Neo” was added to our nation’s name to properly differentiate it from the film.

Who is the Philoso4King?

Who is the Philoso4King?

Who cares, next question.

No really, Who is the Philoso4King?

According to Christianity, I am the spiritual child of the most high God. Just like everyone else.

According to evolution, I am pond scum with the benefit of a few million years of random mutation and natural selection. Just like everyone else.

Perhaps I am famous. Would my celebrity make Neo Freedonia any more or less real?

Perhaps I am completely obscure. Does this make my ideas less valid?

Perhaps I am highly educated. Perhaps I am self taught.

Perhaps I am highly wise.

Perhaps I am a fool.

Proclamation

“Everybody understands Mickey Mouse. Few understand Hermann Hesse. Hardly anybody understands Einstein. And nobody understands Emperor Norton.”

— Principia Discordia

Modern life is complex. We each have wide varieties of roles in our lives. Mother, Father, Worker, Citizen, Student, Consumer, Artist…

Yet we each have one limiting factor – time. We only get 24 hours a day. 1440 Minutes. 86400 Seconds.

And we spend our time doing… well, a variety of things.

Some things are mundane. Sleeping can take up a third of our day.

Some are more esoteric.

Some are required to earn our daily bread.

Some are serious, completely rational. Taxes need to be paid and checkbooks balanced.

Some are slightly silly.

Some are rather crazy. Running with the bulls in Spain surely isn’t entirely sane.

Some are completely nuts.

“So Brain, what do you want to do tonight?” – Pinky

One man had the crazy idea to take over the world.

“Hmmm, Dad conquered Greece. What should I do…? I know, I conquer everything else!

And in only a dozen years, that’s pretty much what he did, conquering most of the known world.

History now calls him Alexander the Great. We can only guess what those he conquered called him.

Not that all crazy ideas work out.

And some succeed only through blind luck.

Take Christopher Columbus.

Contrary to common belief, Columbus didn’t come up with the idea that the Earth was round. Washington Irving created that myth in 1828. In fact, it was common knowledge (at least amongst the educated) that the world was round when he set sail in 1492.

No, Columbus’s epiphany involved the calculation of the size of the world. His contemporaries believed that the then known world (Europe, Asia & Africa) spanned, East to West, half way around the world and the rest was ocean. This made the ocean much too wide to cross, any ship would run out of supplies and fresh water. Certain death for their crews.

Columbus calculated that the Earth was significantly smaller than otherwise believed. He concluded that a ship could reach Asia from Spain faster by sailing West than by following the usual trade routes.

And he was wrong. The world is almost twice the size he thought it was. If he hadn’t bumped into the Americas, he and his entire crew would have been lost in the unforgiving blue.

Not that he knew he was mistaken. He went to his grave believing it was Asia he had sailed to.

How crazy is that?

Joshua A. Norton was a successful if not noteworthy businessman when he emigrated to San Fransisco in 1849. Over the next decade he lost his fortune and, some say, his mind. But his life became highly unique when, on September 17, 1859, he declared himself “ Norton I, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico.”

During his colourful twenty year reign local newspapers published his decrees, he ate at fine restaurants (that proudly proclaimed Imperial commission) and money he issued was accepted in local shops. It was said that no play or concert would dare open without reserving a balcony seat for the Emperor.

“He had shed no blood; robbed no one; and despoiled no country; which is more than can be said of his fellows in that line.” – Police Chief Patrick Crowley.

His most dramatic “battle” occurred when mob of anti-Chinese rioters were hellbent on taking their frustrations out on Chinese immigrants. Norton positioned himself between the rioters and the Chinese, bowed his head and repeated the Lord’s Prayer until the rioters dispersed without incident.

Although he did call out the army to deal with the congressmen, after they ignored his decree abolishing congress. Needless to say, the army didn’t abide by this decree.

When he died 30,000 people lined the streets to pay homage and his funeral cortege was two miles long.

Some things we do, even if they are crazy. Some things we do because they are crazy.

In that spirit, I, the Philoso4King, declare myself Emperor of Neo Freedonia and Protector of the Internet.

And in doing so, I vow to defend democracy, fairness and tolerance within this land of Neo Freedonia and to defend its laws and practices as exist with the support of the populace.